Spent the weekend attending kursus rumahtangga with tunang. The place itself is so far! We didn’t have ours at the mosque. Instead we (ok tunang did) signed up for the one they held at their HQ.
Some of you may think what it could be all about. In my mind I thought it was about them telling us the responsibilities that we will have.
I was mentally preparing myself for the now-you’re-a-daughter-wife-daughter-in-law speech. I mean what else could it be about right?
Truthfully some parts were draggy. (Didn’t help that it was at Aljunied and we had to be there by 9. I was yawning away throughout the MRT ride.)
Some parts were good.
The only problem I have with it is that it’s soooo EXPENSIVE! It cost us $300! Yes $300! Even Mak said they cekik our money.
Nasib baik the food was nice.
The draggy parts
• there was one part where they taught us the adab of consuming the marriage. -True that they had some parts whereby we wouldn’t know and some doa’s that we can use but maybe cuz I was still sleepy hence had a hard time paying attention.
The useful parts
• the title of this post is by an Uztaz and it makes one think. For Muslims, we believe that death may occur at anytime so we only fear death coming. We don’t seem to equate that anything on earth is temporary. For me, hearing that makes me realise how fleeting our feeling can actually be. Astaurghfirullah.
• It takes work for marriage to work. We must cultivate the love so that it grows. With the point above, if we cultivate our love then in syaa Allah, the marriage will work.
• Please. Thank you. I love you. Very important words.
• we must realise that Allah sees out action all the time. Once you realise and accept this, you’d treat your partner with more truth.
• truth doesn’t mean it won’t hurt. The example given- a husband accidentally throw away his wife’s fav brooch. If he tells the truth, chances are she’ll get angry. But you did tell the truth. See.
• NEVER NEVER tell your friends you problems. Solve it within 48 hours. You don’t know what may happen. Try not to get parents involved as well. Work it out. Sleep it off if need be cuz your mind may be too tired to think it through. Solve it the next day.
My opinions that may have sounded wrong
In class, the uztazah gave a scenario whereby the husband says the wife stays at home. What are you gg to do?
“Fine, but you give me the amount that I was earning before this.”
The class sorta became quiet & I think some guys were looking at me. The guy beside my tunang nudged him and laugh. My tunang just laughed.
Thinking about it, my answer does sound very arrogant (not to mention ngada-ngada, money minded etc). In my defense, if I stopped working, then how do I give my parents money? Granted that tunang will give me nafkah but I think it’s better if I continue working (I’ve got a bond to serve anyway. hurr hurr)
But yes. I do admit I sounded very ngada-ngada with my answer.
At the end of the course we had to write a love letter. So while we were writing, the Uztaz played this video of this guy singing. I thought it was noisy & I knew I heard this song from somewhere before. So of course I didn’t know who the singer was. I asked my one and only friend who he was.
*shocked* “Amy Search”
*my turn to be shocked cuz I didn’t know who Amy Search was*
After that it was awkward silence. I think she was trying to grasp the concept of me not knowing who Amy Search is, while I was trying to tahan malu for not knowing who Amy Search who.
The song played was “Demi Cintaku Padamu” at least I think that was the title.
One of our responses.
Disclaimer: I’m no expert on this. I’m just sharing what I just learnt that’s all. Plus we paid money for it. If we paid so much and ended up not learning anything, I swear something is definitely wrong with us.
Should blog a lot more regularly.